His name was Manfred from my childhood
He tried not to come out, but so often would.
His aspects were hidden and often so marred,
And he never was cast in the night that was starred.
Manfred was light, just as light as the light.
I never ran with him though lonely in fright.
Because Manfred did never truly live quite at all.
Manfred was never there at my beckon call.
But I needed him then, I needed a friend.
A reprieve from the torment that seemed not to end.
Real people were mean and I hated them so.
So much that no one would really all know.
I knew that sad part of the human is true,
But some folks just live and know what to do.
Manfred was scary, and a man quite apart;
A man that now lived and now tore at my heart.
He scared me so often with that psychotic touch.
And often his hints were far, far too much.
Those little weird gestures and the hinting and prying,
Inside my head and without I was crying.
He would coerce my actions if I let him exist,
And he made ill-favored with the family or bliss.
So an outcast was I, if Manfred was there,
Though sometimes I wonder if I truly did care.
I needed a companion, I needed that love.
I thought somehow Manfred was sent from above.
No one then believed me for the sins that he wrought,
And all the stories I told, nobody has bought.
So slowly and certainly Manfred had to die.
Then I was alone, so then I did cry.
Now that I’m grown, I ponder so often,
For the deeds that were done and those that should have not been.
They could not make me pay for the crime that he did;
For they thought it uncanny when a kid murdered kid.
They found her frail body lying dead by the stream,
Manfred had come forth while I watched the dream.
But they say I still killed her in some sickened way,
And they all talk about me still up to this day.
I don’t think I’m responsible for her fall down the falls,
But they still say I did it and I did it all.
But I know for certain what happened to her:
It wasn’t my hand but Manfred’s for sure.
It was Manfred that killed her and then Manfred that died.
So now I keep Manfred only on the inside.