This is better than I am. And it’s not for publication; these words are for you. You are all that matters.
Since in this time and place it’s become exceedingly difficult to become inimitably good, to become unique, to become what I call a Giant, then you have the most difficult job anyone has ever offered you before. That is to become a Sacrifice.
I know that becoming a Giant is tiresome, is lonely, is wearing on a soul. Part of the problem is not only the endless tasks, the endless trying, and the physicality of it, but also the mental anguish knowing the competition. Today it is commonplace to be different; not only is it commonplace to be different, but at minimum it’s commonplace to attempt to be different. Being different isn’t a “bad” thing any longer. It might have been at points in history, but not in modern day thriving countries. Not in America. Now if you don’t attempt to be different it seems that something is slightly wrong with you; at minimum it means you’re boring and bound to be persecuted by those that are trying to be different. And even if you’re not persecuted, even if I’m wrong about that, it might also mean this harsh truth: if we’re all trying to be different, well, then we’re all doing something similar; trying to be different, when we’re all doing it, makes us all similar. Hell, your best bet for being different might just be to try and be that person that all the people fighting against being “ordinary” are running away from. If you’re ordinary, now you’re different.
And I’m not saying don’t try; I’m not saying which to do either way. That difficult choice rests on your weary shoulders.
I know very few people that are Sacrifices. Only two come to mind, and I seriously doubt many of these types of people that I have in my head exist in many places of the planet. Some people might be Sacrifices unwillingly or unwittingly, but I don’t know if they truly are Sacrifices then. Try something you’ve rarely, if ever, done for someone, for anyone. So now a beginning.
Find a man with a girlfriend that thinks very little of him. A man that is not much of a man at all. Find that specific relationship where the woman is clearly thinking about leaving this man because he is insipid, he is annoying, he is worthless, he is weak. Make sure he loves her to no end and would be devastated and pathetic if he lost her. Now either make a bargain with him without him knowing, or force him unknowingly into a fight. Let him beat the living hell out of you, whether he knows you are letting him or not. Do this any way possible; walk up to the woman he loves and degrade her, disrespect her, piss her off until that point when she looks over at him waiting for him to do something about it. In that moment, just when she thinks she’ll find his weakest, most pathetic point, become the Sacrifice for him; let him kick the shit out of you and let her passion and desire for him come flooding back because of what you have shown her. If you made the deal with him, don’t take any money from him and take no thanks either. Walk away, hobble away, and never speak of it again. If you simply did it without him knowing, all the better because then he believes as well that he is the man of the night, of the year, and that his woman will love him forever. Either way, don’t ever let her know; let her live in bliss and beam at him every night for the rest of their lives as she brings that moment back to life in her mind forever after in their relationship. At any point when she’s considering leaving him, she’ll think of him on that night that you were the Sacrifice, and he’ll shine in her eyes because of you.
What does it matter if you are the Sacrifice for people you’ll never see again? They won’t know your name; no one ever will. No one needs to. You were a means to an end for them, not a person. You getting to know it should be enough for you.
Love someone so fully and so completely. If you can truly, by all means do. If you must fake it for them to feel loved, then you must. Love them so much that they think they are perfect. Make them believe that they are beautiful. Do anything for them, any bidding, any task, any favor whatsoever. Show them endless compassion and force them to realize that they are special; they are a Giant; you are a Sacrifice. Even if this has to be a lie, even if they feel a love that is no love at all, just you doing what you must, it matters little because you will never tell them if you are truly making the sacrifice. Die with that lie if it means them feeling eternally loved, endlessly good. Some might not agree with a lie, but if it makes someone’s whole life loved, then you should be willing to make that trade.
Do so many benevolent acts of kindness for other people. Leave money in mailboxes with no note or reason. Leave money on the sidewalk where you know people will find it. If you’re worried they’ll feel guilty taking it, leave it in their screen door so they think it was meant for them. Leave no notes and tell no one of your donations. Fix peoples’ property that is broken, fix their lives, somehow, and let them think it occurred naturally or somehow manipulate them to think they fixed it themselves.
When something has gone wrong, take all the blame. Whenever anything can’t be explained away by bad luck, whenever a scapegoat is needed, be the guilty one man party. Become like a fool and apologize endlessly even if you had nothing to do with what went wrong. Never let anyone else be responsible for something bad, not when you are able to take the blame without suspicion.
In conversation and debate and argument, in social settings, find the person that feels a strong desire to be right or a pedantic individual who loves to correct people: Be wrong, intentionally, and be a fool; somehow figure out rhetorically how to look utterly wrong so that they can correct you and they can assume the role of intelligent. Let yourself look stupid; let yourself be corrected. Say the wrong facts on purposes, tell untruths and lies, and let others jump in and look smart and classy and honest in front of the crowd.
Become angry at people and throw fits. Let them team up against you. Start fights and arguments and debates where you are completely out of line and belligerent. Let them throw you out into the streets. Give them the opportunity to toast their corroboration upon your exile. Knowingly, intentionally, be a fool. Make them all look like they are not the fools as they pointed out your faults and untruths.
And know the real truth and keep it to yourself as you skulk away, head hung low in “defeat.”
It means so much to be a Sacrifice. You will be making the world a better place, but because of it, you will become a lesser person, especially in others’ eyes. You must be a lowlife; you must a doormat, a loser. You must be a ragged doily. People will set themselves on you and soil you, and you will take it without them even bothering to acknowledge this. You must do what is right while at the same time letting others think what you did was wrong.
How impossible and selfless does this sound? That is what it is to be a Sacrifice.
The internal reward? Wherein does it lie? Well, perhaps you’ll find yourself bending over, letting people climb off your back to greatness and to the heavens while you stay stooped and in the muck. And even after you’ve done this for them, you still have to turn around to the world and say that they climbed up there all themselves and you had nothing to do with it. But since you won’t be in a larger category after these deeds, since you will in a small niche of people, less than most throughout history, aren’t you on a path to becoming a Giant as well?
But yes, in the end, you’ll be buried with people thinking you were worthless and rather wanting to piss on your body instead of dignify it with dirt. But that’s a price you pay.
And on a last important note I’ll leave you: if you don’t become a Sacrifice, at the very least next time you see someone doing all these things, someone you despise and someone you think is weak and pathetic, someone whose funeral you’d never attend, someone who’s gravesite you’d sooner spit on than look at, think about the truth that there was a chance that perhaps they were being a Sacrifice and they never were allowed to tell you this truth. And at the end of the day, you should thank these people that are low, that are wrong, that you had underfoot, that you bested, these idiots, these assholes, these villains.
In the end didn’t they make you look good?