Becoming A Giant

Part 0: An Introduction:

Most times you hear or see a tale with a hero, Kahn, Luke Skywalker, Achilles, Frodo, or Odysseus, Arachidamia or Joan of Arc, Da Vinci, Poe, Shakespeare, Dickinson, Will Hunting, Splinter, Erin Brockovich, Beethoven, Mick Mars, and on and on, you wish you could be in his or her stead. But oftentimes we find ourselves only partaking of the good aspects of his or her life; these mediums of entertainment, they want us to wish for such adventures. But it is only true that in our daily lives we want those sorts of thrills. These heroes, they do not even try and hide a sadness behind their own eyes; they are pleading with us to understand that they only traverse these trails, trials, accomplish these feats and slaughter those others for posterity – they do it so that we will live in peaceful times. They wish for days when foul monsters and evil shadows will not roam the land unchecked. They wish for their children to lie snuggled up in blankets in a warm house safe from any sort of adventure that would put them in harm’s way. Yet still we sit on the edge of our seats hoping and wishing and praying that our body and soul be put into one of these adventures. After these heroes have cleaned up the world and given us a safe place to rest, we then become restless. Restlessness turns to boredom. We hate our lives eventually; this hate transforms itself to sadness and can manifest in suicide. For lack of anything to do and need for the riddance of sadness we wish we had some world of our own to save. We are sad for ourselves, hoping we could be them as a remedy; they are sad for themselves wishing they could remedy the wrongs of their universe for us. We hate them for not leaving us some adventure; they hate us for not appreciating what they have done.

They are us and we are them.

But it is true that many of us still try to emulate those heroes. I cannot care if they implore for me to live in my world where I am safe and bored. I want what they possess even if I do not understand. These heroes are Giants and I want to be a Giant too. They do not understand this life.

And when I say Giant, I am not talking about becoming a man; I am not talking about becoming a woman; I am not talking about becoming a person that many people strive to be and most turn into: I am writing about becoming more than all this; but there is not standard; there is no set rules to becoming a Giant; you just have to get it, I daresay. You are in some larger percentile when you have become an expanded person, an interesting person, a great man, a true man, a heroine, a heroic person. But these are still large percentiles, maybe even twenty percent. I do not care about twenty percent. I do not care about ten percent. Becoming a Giant is being that less than one percent. It is falling into a category unattained by most individuals throughout the history of humans and still it is no set of principles or standards, rules or borders, regulations or boundaries; this would go against becoming a Giant. Yet still we must do it. You must fall into a one percent and soar over everything and everyone you know, above them, naked, unhindered, and free.

And now is the moment where you might ask yourself what I have asked: Can we all become Giants? Am I truly a Giant if everyone else is? Perhaps. But perhaps not. You will see how this cannot fail later if you delve deep into the layers of it. But even so, if we all become Giants among all peoples, in turn making one race of Giants, then you need only strive on: become a Giant among Giants then. Think about this for a time; now extrapolate that concept.

Only becoming famous will not suffice for becoming a Giant. Do not think that popularity or fame will land you in the rank of a Giant. Anyone famous should know you. If they do not know you, you should not know them. Perhaps you will become famous, perhaps you will be a celebrity, but this is not the specific goal nor will becoming famous or a celebrity further your path. If it goes hand in hand, it matters little.

It was easy for some of the people listed above to become Giants. But I am sorry you were not handed the luxury of evil trolls, tireless racial persecution, monsters, tyrants, kings and queens, racists, sexists, necromancers, wild animals, space monsters, evil machines, gods or heroes, or demons in your mind that made you into such an anomaly; it was not our lot in life and so be it. We must move on beyond this diminishing truth.

Some people even think they know truths. And the worst is when others follow that soul that believes it is on to something. Ideas are planted at a young age, ideas of the quilt of false universals of it all. But those teachers do not know. Ideas do not matter; take them or leave them. But I would never take all of their ideas.

Most of these things constrain us; we do not need any of it. And none of us know any of it.
So many of us leave a movie or a book wishing we could have been placed in that situation. So few of us ever become Giants among men and take the place of those that we wish to. So few of us have courage or strength left; it seeps from us by these devices we lean on; it seeps from the jaded and listless race we are becoming; we are already dying, drip by drip, with rarely a gush.

I only know a few people that have started and less that are. Yet, some of you have done these things that make one a Giant among so many; some of you have become an anomaly in the world; some of you have left that world. Some of you have only started down the path by doing one or few trials. It remains and always will, a long hard odyssey.

Become a Giant. Try something you have never done or experienced before; you are the only person that will ever stop you. So now a beginning.

Part 1: Waking Up; Suggestions to Do:

Become colder than you have ever felt before; freeze out in the snow. If you do not live near snow, travel to that place where you will feel what it is like to live outside of a house with no radiator, no central air, no fire even, unless that fire is something you have made yourself, with a coldness that your homeland could never offer you. Sleep in a bed of grass, leaves, and foliage that you created to stay alive.

Doctors and lawyers are a new invention, not something we need to survive; you do not need doctor visits every year, you do not need lawyers when you are hurt. If you have become hurt in anyway, do not sue those that offered up life: embrace them and thank them for allowing you to learn from your mistakes. Do not go to the doctor for relief from anything. If you die, you die a Giant. Cure yourself if you can. The human body is a fire, not something so weak and pathetic as we have made it out to be. The human body is but a small campfire that we have all let go for the night as we fell into sleep. A quiet fire is strong still; it breathes and pulsates with life waiting to spring from coal and ash. We are now that coal and ash with a potential to leap back into roaring, searing plasma if only we put the wood back in the fire to fuel ourselves; let this be the fuel of your dying and withering soul; let this be the matter that wakes your dying flame. The human body is resilient and strong. Show this to yourself; prove it to be so.

Go without any food for as many days as possible. When you have gone as many days as you think you can bear, go on another. The hunger pangs will dissipate and your heart will cry out for food; you have gone so long with a hot meal three times a day that your body will hate you, you will hate yourself, you will hate having decided to listen to this. But that third or fourth or fifth day when you see that small belly you have never liked has somewhat lessened, then you will start to appreciate that your body can survive without food, you have just forgotten what it was like; you have forgotten how to hunt. Now burn even more fat off yourself by finding an animal or plant for food. Thank that animal or plant when your pangs dissipate. Do it again.

Love something, love someone, love anything, if it deserves it or if they need it, or if you need it. Love everything, if you have it in you. This is your road, you are the one that conquers it and you decide the path. Know your truth and integrity and follow and adhere to it. Love what you have chosen wholly and passionately and eternally. Then do the same with pure, unrestrained hate to something different that deserves it.

Become drunk. On anything. Let yourself become nothing save your dreams and drunkenness. Your feelings need to verge on awareness and uncertainty wherein you are aware that you still hold some sort of sentience and some autonomy over your being and self, but the uncertainty lies with the truth that you may or may not be drunk and you may or may not be in a dream. Once this binge has passed, however long that binge may take you, sober yourself up and breathe in the clear state of mind; again, your body is resilient and you will appreciate even more the feeling of a clear head.

Most of your exploits are something that society may deem inappropriate, but if you have not reached this line, or, with hope, crossed it, then you may be doing something wrong. Then again you may not be; it is you. But land yourself in jail. Do whatever it takes to find yourself having to spend the night in a jail cell of some uncertain town that will release you and wish you never back again. Do this as many times as necessary; do it until you appreciate the grand feeling of walking out into the sunshine at six in the morning knowing that you will not sit behind bars with the other shackled prisoners. Walk away without a car or a ride. Walk the railroad tracks to the nearest town and continue on from there. Only once you have experienced handcuffs and cells will you know the true beauty of what we call freedom. Do not know the word freedom, but discover a relativity of that word; we can never attain true freedom because we were born: you were not given a choice in the matter of your birth; your freedom ceased when you entered the world. But now that your parents forced you into this world, they are unwilling to take you out of that world. You must discover that coercion can be worse that merely shoving you out into a world; coercion can be a plight in which you beg for death in the end, only to be released again into that sunlit place that now you will not so much hate. In the end, after you have been in jail, you might thank your parents for birthing you. Buy your mother flowers on your birthday and say thank you to her for forcing you into this world, for now you know that life can always become remarkably and relatively worse. Stop crying because you were born. Your life is not your choice, but living truly certainly is. Start doing it.

You need to be away from your family and others. At least for a time. However long that time is, remains up to you; You’ll know when you’ve reached the point where you can return: it is when you have become free of them and now want them back because you love them, not because you are dependent on them.
You need to understand that the most difficult place a person can be is within the confines of his or her own mind. Constantly, incessantly, we are distracted; we are pulled away from our own minds. We are fed sedatives and lights, toys and games and humans, systems, food, and other teeming and infinite distractions to keep us away from our own thoughts. The soul, the inner “I” is beat down and suppressed to a point of expunging it from this universe; but we must not let these things take control and hinder us from deep true thought. Explore your mind; explore the innermost confines, the things that are within your flesh and blood but are not flesh and blood; become afraid of yourself; become afraid of your own mind; become afraid of losing all mental distractions and become afraid for your own sanity; let that horror take over: then conquer yourself and quiet that mind. This place you will find only when you have left your family and your friends for that amount of time necessary.

Do not fall into a category and let others judge you by your clothes and effects and attire. Attempt to become whoever you are and let your individuality shine through by not becoming a part of a group that does the same thing. Don whatever you wish and wear it like a crown, even if it is normal attire.

Make people wonder at you. Never let anyone categorize you or be able to define you. Make it impossible for anyone to describe you or anything you do. Do not practice what is normal or prescribed. Start breaking peoples’ brains by saying something they have never heard before. Start practicing difference in anything you attempt. Give everyone around you cognitive dissonance because they have just seen you do something that no one has ever done before. This could be a myriad of ideas and words and gestures and none of them are wrong.

This, above many things: never apologize to anyone for anything you have done while becoming a Giant or ever after. No one, ever, deserves your apology. Because apologizing is a waste of time; only actions after a wrong can start convincing people you were wrong. You must care little for what anyone in the universe thinks of you. You need to walk tall, proud, with focus, meeting anyone and everyone’s gaze or glare. You will walk through walls and dodge bullets. You will carry the world on your shoulders but never complain because you know that you are the only person that does not care that you carry such a weight; you are better than everyone. You are a hero, you are your hero and this will inadvertently lend itself to becoming a hero for others. You do not owe anyone an apology for you never will do anything wrong. You cannot, you are a Giant; you walk among clouds and gods now. Look down on them but let the ambiguity of your silence in this or any matter force them wonder at your enigmatic ways. This they will take for humility; this they will be wrong in; this is a goal.

Speak out against people, against anyone. Attempt to change people, or at least make them question their own beliefs and philosophies and words. Question your goals and beliefs, stigmas and standards. Question rules and authority; question rebellion.

Question this.

Give speeches and rants, lectures, and tirades. Let your rhetoric in any matter, including this one, be a means to show people that you understand what they never will. Since no one knows anything, all you have to do is convince people with your arguments, and logic and rational. And thus you are not wrong.

Never stay shy; never look away from their eyes.

If you are worse, you can still be better. If you are smaller you can still be larger, so to speak. Because if different and unique in any way is what you are and emulate, then no matter what you do, you cannot be wrong.

I am a mess of inextricable contradictions and so it might be for you, but I will tell you, though it does not follow exactly my advice; as I said, this path differs for everyone and my telling is a choice I make because of the choice I wish to give.

Thus, on this final note I shall leave you: Holding a knife can give a person a very ancient, not yet lost, sense of how they began; you began as another entity entirely. It does not matter if we have “progressed” “evolved” or “become civilized” for all of these are relative terms and terms that only are part of a spectrum that remains constantly in flux and on an up and down intrinsic ride that becomes something we start out loving but in the end hate. We wished to move from the caves and mountains and to the hills and wished for a predictable food source. But then we wanted more; our greed, gluttony, and lust became something exponentially uncontrollable. We wanted companionship, we wanted children, we wanted lives and houses and jobs and money and then radio and television and now computers and chairs and beds and dishwashers and endless amounts of materials and things that we never needed before but somehow think we cannot live without now. And then we started worrying about being the same. Even though now we all talk about how we are all different and how we all wish to be individuals it is still true that you are not an individual if you are sitting with a mass of people all talking about how they are individuals. So I went and tried something I thought would change my life.

Pulling out a knife is something that most cringe at these days. It was so embedded in us before and now such a lost cause; we do not need that knife to survive, so we wiggle away from it, when once we would have gripped the handle and held its blade up as something shaped from our own life to end life. Its metal or stone would be caught in the morning sunlight, reflecting in our enemy’s eyes this warning: that we are not afraid.

Get into a fistfight, pull out the knife, cut yourself deeply to truly show that you are a barbarian; show them all surrounding you that you are something else; you are a Giant. Let them believe what they will. You let that blood flow; you let that Giant out; the animal still lives within, the fire burns and you are not afraid. They will leave you alone after that, and this is a goal. It is a goal I have obtained.

Scar yourself with that knife if you need to get your heart moving, your blood flowing once more, as I needed. Feel unrelenting pain. Let that scar be a memory for you to treasure for the rest of your life. Let it be a landmark on your skin of the beginning of the path that you took to becoming a Giant. And tell no one how you gained that scar.

It might not mean pulling out a knife for you to become a Giant; the path is varied and snakes; it might be taken from the words I have written down, but by no means is this a stone path: it should be trod by individuals and bent and broken and changed if need be, but with the utmost of care, without forgetting that we wander on this up and down path and since we have come so far this way on the societal, technological, perverse, immobile, spiritless, unloving and unkind, unnatural, normal, and above all else categorized side, that we need only remember our roots and our own intrinsic ideas and no one else’s.

Remember that this is no set list, but also moreover is the truth that this list is not about winning and losing. We should all want to become that person who is different than the human, that person that has experienced infinitely more, that person that has felt more pain, more cold, more suffering, more drifting, more traveling, more wandering, more loneliness, more isolation, more hurt, more loss, more adventure, more difference, more originality and new ideas than 99.9 percent of the human race. You want to become that person that has died every night and had an advent of yourself in the morning. You want to become that person that has experienced a loss so great that words will not explain, nor tears, but through that loss you found that you were stronger than any person you know or ever will know. It matters little if you follow any of this or all of it; if you use some and leave out parts or use most or little of it.

This above all else: you must understand that becoming a Giant is intrinsically about being different, not about doing what I tell you. Be bigger, better, and possess more inimitable goodness in you than anyone in the world, past or present. And this leads to Part II.

Remember though, when you meet this first mark, and you will know this first mark, whether it is by the knife or your own means, then you will have already started forgetting about those heroes you wished to become in the movies, books, and tales that you so pathetically clung to, as I did; because by then you will be on the path to becoming those legendary stories.

Part II: Thinking Clearly; Suggestions to Be:

And concerning being different, remember not only what you can do, but more importantly, remember what you can be: a Giant is not something mostly found in the world, because it is nearly impossible to become one. A Giant is a good person, but not because others dictated him to be so. And this good person also possesses certain traits of a confident, collected, and capable person that wants truth, beauty, and love above all else.

A Giant is not depressed, a Giant does not whine or cry or complain, ever. A Giant realizes that doing that is a mere waste of time; Giants fix problems, they do not wallow in them. Giants are not weighed down by insecurity. Giants do not grow in clicks and clichés; Giants do not do things or act certain ways because others have told them to do. Giants do whatever they want without any sort of regard for what anybody is thinking of them. Giants go where they wish, when they wish, wear what they wish, and grow as a product of their own mind without any sort of worry of if anyone else is judging them or disregarding them.
Giants are not jealous of others; others are jealous of their confidence. Giants do not make fun of others because it is the cool thing to do. Giants are good humans, but not because humans dictate them to be so. Giants are good humans, kind souls, not because of religion, or society, but because they can be the greatest, most genuine hearted person because they strive to be without any sort of worry of punishment if they act otherwise.

They do these things because they should, not because people or God told them to. Giants are products of their minds, learning from themselves after they took what they did from family and society growing up. They started at zero, and tore themselves and their beliefs down to nothing to rebuild a truly unbiased, unhindered, and objective mind.

Giants do not lie to make others comfortable or happy. Giants do not lie for any reason; they do not have to because lying stems from fear. And Giants are courageous. Giants give and want truth, without fear

If Giants do something, they strive to excel at it; Giants are jacks of all trades and masters of all of those trades. Giants are aware and open-minded, truly far sighted. They are expert lovers, fiercely loyal friends, and actively dangerous enemies. Giants love others wholly, without restraint, and they do the same with hatred.

Giants see the beauty in all things, the beauty in this, the beauty in the universe, and the beauty in humans, including themselves. It is not conceited when they see it in themselves, it is confidence and it is a confidence because they know this beauty in them is real, because they see it in others as well, and the beauty in others mirrors their own.

Giants possess the capability to deal with any situation, anything that life sends their way. Giants are more than men. They are intelligent, strive for excellence and are not tempered. Giants do not go half measure; a Giant will always go all the way, always practice going full measure. Giants are extremists, are absolutists, and they do not worry if others condemn that way of life. Giants know what they know to be true. Giants do not worry or doubt themselves.

Giants do not ask for permission; they do not ask others for help or for consolation.

Giants are content being alone. Giants do well sitting on a chair with their thoughts, by themselves. Giants will stand on a bridge, in the middle of nothing and nowhere, and find themselves not needing others. Giants are not dependent on anything.

And even if they are surrounded by others, even if they possess friends and family, Giants are all right living this life loving all that they love, believing all they believe, doing all that they do, existing as they exist, Alone.

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